- 2 cups small cooked shrimp, lobster, or lump crabmeat, coarsely chopped (use any 1 of the crustaceans or a mix of all 3)
- Enough mayonnaise to bind (about 1/3 to 1/2 cup)
- Enough paprika so it doesn't look anemic
- At least 1/2 cup chopped red onion
- At least 1/2 cup parmesan
- Salt and pepper to taste
- Small scallop shells for serving
- 1/4 cup large salt-packed capers
- 1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
- Turn on broiler.
- Mix all ingredients and—if this is 1959—put into scallop shells.
- Run under broiler until brown and shiny, and serve with tiny cocktail forks. If you are less retro, put on any sturdy cracker or black bread.
- Run under broiler. Invariably devoured.
- Rinse capers and soak in fresh water. After 1/2 hour, change water and soak for another 1/2 hour. Remove capers and pat very dry.
- Heat oil and fry capers in 2 batches, until quite crisp and lightly browned, about 30 seconds each.
- Drain on paper towels and serve immediately.
- Garnish the above or just serve in a bowl.